I ran across this picutre the other day while looking for something else. As I was looking at it it occurred to to me that only three of the people in it are still living. That made me kind of sad, but later I started thinking about them all, trying to come up with some happy memories. That and a bit of family history is what follows. This picture was taken in June of '68, I was still just a little kid then. :) It was a family reunion, at my G-Aunt Aileen's house in Agency. She lived a couple blocks from the church, and the school. It was probably a get together for Grandmother & Hilah's birthday.

I'm going to start with the older woman in the back, because this is a picture of her with most of her grandchildren. Missing are my Mom, Aunt Nancy Wagner and Suzanne Ussary.

That's Mom Thomson, my g-grandmother on Mom's side of the family. What I remember most about her is that she lived in a little white house, on the Platte River in what would be downtown Agency. Across the street from the school that she worked at & that her kids and most of her grandkids graduated from. The memory that sticks with is that her peanut butter came in a big sliver can and you had to stir it up before you used it. I found out later this was gov't peanut butter. Uncle Kenny told me that one time he and David stayed with Mom T. while the rest of the family went on vacation. He said they each had a quarter to spend while there. Only she wouldn't let them buy soda or candy. So they had their money left when they went home. Of course, he always made it sound funnier than I do. ;)

Now from the left is Paula Clinton, for over 40 years Paula Korneman. Paula is Aileen and Robert Clinton's daughter. She & her husband had 5 children, their oldest Roland died in an accident when he was 9. The other 4 are all married and have children of their own. I used to see her every year or so at the reunions but we don't have those anymore. Paula and Dana were in town a couple of years ago for something. They stopped in to see us and we keep in touch with them through letters and facebook.

Next to Paula is her brother Phil. I don't remember much about him. He always kept to himself. I keep in touch with his girls on facebook. I remember being at a party at his house, I think it was Christmas or New Years. All the cousins were there and it was a wild night. ;)

Behind Phil is Kenny Settle, my uncle. The stories I could tell about him. LOL Kenny was like a big brother than an uncle at times. Kenny was in the Navy in the '70's he was a fireman. He was actually on the Shangri-la a ship Dad served on years before. He was married twice first to Diane Styp and then to Carolyn Brown he adopted her daughter Mistie Joree. We've lost touch with Mistie since Grandmother & Lloyd died. Kenny & Dave visited us in Fla, the first time we were stationed there. They were just teenagers and drove down from MO by themselves. I can only imagine what kind of road trip that was. :) I remember taking them crabbing and fishing. Toward the end Kenny got stuck in his memories. He must have apologized a thousand times for almost setting me on fire when I was a toddler. If you haven't heard that story and want to let me know. He spent a lot of time here in his last few years. He told stories, that's a Settle trait being able to tell a good story. ;)

Next to Kenny is Uncle Richard Settle. I wasn't real close to Richard mainly because I only got to see once every couple of years. But he taught me how to use a bull whip and how to properly handle a gun. He and some of the other guys took some of us kids out in the woods and taught us how to shoot. I never got very good at it because that was the only time I ever got to shoot. Richard was very inventive and used to build things all the time. He once built a cannon with out any plans just to see if he could. All of the Settle boys loved to build things. In Grandmother's basement they all made zip guns, pipe bombs, bows, arrows, slingshots. The basement of the Peggy Circle house always smelled like gunpowder. Even after he got sick and was unable to move or speak, he communicated with his son and told him what to get and how to put it together to make gadgets. Several were used by his family to care for him or by him to make his life easier.

The boy in front of Mom T. is Randy Clinton, Paula & Phil's brother. He lives on a farm near St. Joseph. I don't really remember much about him either he was older than me so we didn't hang out a lot when we visited the family.

Next to Randy is Stephan Ussary Aunt Hilah's oldest. Steve had a very troubled life. He was married to Mary Lou Mott and had 3 children. After Stephan returned from Vietnam they divorced and he became a recluse for about 10 years barricading himself in a room and only coming out late at night. I remember hearing he once saved the family house from fire when the wood stove caught. He was up and smelled smoke before anyone else and put it out before there was too much damage. Stephan loved the stars, I remember standing outside one night at the farm naming the constellations with him. It's the one clear memory I have of him.

Next to Stephan is Charles Lee Ussary. He still lives and works on the family farm. He bought his siblings out and works very hard everyday. I admire him because he has taken care of Aunt Hilah since she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I remember I always loved visiting the farm there was just so much outside to run around in and it was so different from anywhere I lived. Charles Lee let me play with his G.I. Joe when I was little. ;) Plus when I was a kid they always had dogs and cats running around. Uncle Lloyd let me climb on his tractors and big machines.

And lastly is David Wayne Settle, another uncle. ;) Like Kenny David was more like a brother than an uncle. He taught me to use a bow and tried to teach me how to use a slingshot. I was never good with that. I remember following him through the woods, looking for mushrooms, finding arrow heads, and crossing creeks. All the Settle Boys loved the outdoors, hunting, fishing or just walking in the woods. I get a lot of that from them, well except the hunting part. But if I was able I'd spend more time outdoors. David married Angie and adopted her daughter Shelly Marie. At the wedding Shelly was so excited because David was her daddy! Angie made the guys wear grey tuxes with hot pink shirts that had ruffles down the front. Uncle Richard made a real a fuss about wearing hot pink with ruffles. I remember the bustle at Grandmother's apt that morning. With everyone trying to get ready in that small space.

That's all I have right now. If I've forgotten anything it's mostly due to lack of sleep. :)

A Dream

A couple of weeks ago I had a dream that has stuck with me very clearly. The dream was in black & white. I was running from a crumbling building. That makes sense I had been talking about Sept. 11. As I got out of the building there were hundreds of cars trying to get away. I was trying to get to Grandmother & Lloyd's car. They were in the little blue Maverick Lloyd had when they met. I can see the car sitting in the far corner of the lot. I never actually saw them I just knew they were waiting for me. As I turned to go toward them, my Aunt Nancy suddenly appeared in front of me. She was very bright and her clothes were colorful. She seemed to have a glow around her. She came forward and we talked as we walked. I didn't hear what we spoke about but it felt so good to see her. She's been gone a long time. I woke up feeling comforted and calm, not my usual wake up mood. LOL I was telling Joe about this dream and trying to explain the glow, he said Nancy always had a glow. ;)

The picture above is Nancy's is her graduation picture. It's torn so you can't see her fluffy sweater, she's not really naked. LOL

Where did the hope go?

A while back I read a blog by a friend about having hope and keeping dreams alive. It was written beautifully. This put my mind in a thinking mood. What I've discovered in my pondering is that I don't actually have hope or dreams anymore. I no longer live life, I just survive each day as it comes. There are moments of happiness, like getting to hold the newest member of the family. But those moments are few and far between. There are moments of laughter some real and some just put on so people won't know what I really feel. I'm not saying that I'm horribly depressed I just don't feel much of anything anymore. Part of that is probably due to the meds that keep me from going completely crazy. When I do it's generally a negative reaction to one of the many crisis around here. I just exist and go through the motions. I read, play video games, and listen to music to distract myself and pass the time. It helps some, I play with my animals. They are the only thing keeping me going. If not for them I'd have faded away long ago. A friend I've had since I was 10, told me once that I used to be outgoing, and happy. I wish I could remember that. I have happy memories and some that are not so happy. I don't mean to sound like I'm whining or looking for sympathy, I'm really not. I just have to get this out of my head. This is also why I don't respond to email as much anymore. You know what Thumper says, ' If you can't say something nice don't say nothing at all'. :) So that's where my mind is right now, kinda scary ain't it?

My Adventures

It all started last Wed., when I went to the lab to have some blood work done. On the way out the door, I felt a popping and grinding across the arch of my foot. This made the side of my foot hurt every time I took a step. But I just carried on as usual, I gave my blood and came home to take Joe to work. My foot was sore but not too bad.

Then on Thurs. I got a call my doc wanted to see me about my blood work, believe me this caused a lot of stress. So I set up two appts. one for tests I was supposed to have done over a month ago. They were to check my blood circulation.

Friday, as I went out I put my foot down and felt a popping, grinding going up my heel. Just what I needed. I dropped Joe at work and went to the pet store to get something for Miss Scarlett, on the way back to my car my foot popped again. Now it really hurt. I went home and propped it up and took something for the pain.

Sat. I was limping a bit but doing okay mostly. I figured I was going to see the doc in a few days I could stand it till then. Joe got some interesting mail, a tax refund he wasn't expecting. He found out from some friends that the gov. was sending out checks to people who qualified. He doesn't know how he qualified but we were all thrilled.


Skip to Monday, which is pretty much our weekend around here. Joe is off on Mon. and Tues. so that's when we get to do all errands. He cashed his check and used some for bills, he gave a little and gave me some. Then he gave the money I needed for my co-pay at my doc. I thought that was very nice. I drove him around so he could spend some of his money. We went to Barnes & Noble, I wanted to go there. Last time I was there they had some books I wanted. I got myself 2 Torchwood Novels, I wanted to get a couple of the Supernatural books but they didn't have any in stock. I was making my way through the bargin books when my ankle decided to give out. Of course, I fell right in the middle of the aisle. On the way down, I smashed my right index finger against a shelf. Other than my ankle that was the only injury. Except for the usual aches and pains from catching myself. As I was sitting up Joe came around the corner, he said he was looking for me because he didn't hear my brace clicking anymore. That's how he keeps track of me in stores. ;) So I moved some books off a bottom shelf and used it to get up. I could feel my foot swelling but, I finished looking at the books. Only two days to see the doc so I just dealt with it on my own. I got one last book I don't have it right here for the title but it's a biography of Helen Mirren. I've started reading it and it's very interesting and has lots of pictures. I came home to find some books I'd ordered waiting for me. I got 3 of Linda Lael Miller's series about the McKettrick's of Texas. Heartless by Diana Palmer, Dangerous Highlander by Donna Grant, Lessons in French by Laura Kinsale, and The Elusive Bride, by Stephanie Laurens. So I have much reading to do now. LOL I was exhausted by the time we got home. Joe had a package waiting too. His girlfriend had gotten a new lap top so she sent him her old one. It's one of the small ones she says he needs to get a thing to cool it, whatever that is. ;) But it works great. I told him it would be better for me, because his hands are so big. He told me to get my own girlfriend to send me stuff. LOL

Tues. the test went well. They did an echo cardiogram on my heart, it was interesting to see my heart pumping on the screen and hear the blood whooshing through it. Then she did the same thing on my feet and legs. After that was the usual grocery shopping. And a few more errands for Joe.

Today I got up and went to see doc to find out what the deal was with my blood work. Now for a week I've been wondering what else could be wrong with me. He told me he was thrilled with my labs, they were excellent, he's very proud of me. He couldn't have told me that on the phone? LOL So I showed him my finger he said, "That's a good one." Then I showed him my foot, he agreed with me that it's swollen. When I told him what has been going on with it, he said that I've torn some tendons. I asked what I could do about it. He told me to put ice on it and grin and bear it, it will take about 6 weeks to heal. So I should be good sometime in May. ;) I'll just have to be careful when I'm out. As I was leaving the nurse told me that both of test results from yesterday were very good. I have no circulation problems.

That's all I hope for this week. LOL

Christmas Memories

Joe put our tree up last night. Just for me, so he said. I do like the sparkly lights. LOL When he was working on it he found a couple of ornaments that brought back a very clear warm memory.

They were picture ornaments of Louie & Sunshine with Santa. Taken 9 years ago. I had a head halter on Sunshine one of my many attempts to control her. I tried a couple of kinds and she slipped them all. Anyway, standing in a very long line she was trying to go explore only she couldn't. So she moved to the end of her leash and flopped over on her side with a great sigh. Everyone in line thought this was very amusing. ;0 When we finally reached Santa, Sunshine loved him he had a pocket full of treats. And she kept putting her nose in it. LOL He had a heck of a time holding onto her. Louie was so scared, especially after they put the reindeer antlers on him. ;) The poor thing he just wanted to get away.

Maybe next year, I'll take Lil Bit to her picture with Santa. That should be fun and interesting. LOl

Privacy

I have mentioned to some of you that the house next door is very close to ours. In fact their kitchen is 10 ft. from my bedroom window, their deck is closer than that.

Even if I keep my window closed, I can hear everything that goes on out there. Last night it was like, listening to a porn movie with no picture. I don't need to hear that, in fact I don't think anyone needs to hear that. My window was open, I know they could hear my tv I turned it up when they got loud. They just got louder.

I got woke up early this morning by laughing and loud talking. By loud talking I mean she was sitting on her deck yelling at her kids out front. This drives me nuts on Fri. & Sat. nights I have to shut my window because they are out there all night and it disturbs Miss Scarlett. She can hear them but she doesn't know where they are so it freaks her.

I understand she has every right to use her deck. But don't I have the right to not have to hear everything that goes on? They don't even try and be quiet out there. You can hear them pretty much all around the circle we live on. It's just that I get the clearest sound.

I don't know her, how do I say 'Hey, I can hear everything you do on your deck.'

Okay rant over for the day. ;)

Duke

I woke up this morning thinking about a dog I used to have. How he came to me and how he left. Duke was the first dog I ever got for myself. I was not in a good place and needed someone else to worry about I found an ad in the paper for lab puppies. I wanted black but all they had were yellow, so I got a yellow one. ;-) There were only 2 left when I got there, one flopped down at my feet and never moved and one was into everything he could find. Can you guess which one I took home? Yep, the trouble maker. ;-) I had a closeness with Duke, I've never had with any of the many other dogs in my life. He truly was my dog and merely tolerated the rest of the world. I took him to Puppy Kindergarten and Canine Good Citizen classes, he did very well as long as I stayed with him. For seven years, he was my buddy. Then I noticed a lump on his back leg. The vet took x-rays and told me it was bone cancer. It had never occurred to me that a dog could get cancer. Not until that moment. I was advised to put him down then and there, that the cancer had spread to his organs and he would only last a month or so. I didn't take that advice, because Duke was still acting like himself. Other than limping and having some problems with the back stairs. I took him home along meds to keep him comfortable. He started sleeping in my room after that. On the bed at first then at the foot when he couldn't jump up anymore. I would hear the jingle of his tags in the night and know that he was there. The vet was wrong, Duke stayed with me for 6 months after his diagnosis. He last for 2 weeks after my birthday. I've always believed he held on past my birthday on purpose. As if he wanted me to have that at least. Duke's ashes sit on a hidden shelf in my room. Because it freaked my brother out when I kept them my basement room that he used too. ;)

Birthday Blahs, Puppy Paws & Stuff

So as some of you know Tuesday was my birthday. Just after midnight I came to my computer and found a card, sitting on my keyboard. There was an ITunes gift card inside and it was signed "Love, People". I don't know who these people are but they are generous. ;) I woke up on what is supposed to be a happy, lovely day not feeling right. One of my 'good' (read with sarcasm) moods had picked that day to show up. It sat on my chest, like a huge weight all day long. Only lifting for a little while, I'll get to that in a minute. So I had some pressies to open, I got Lover Avenged, by J. R. Ward, Torchwood: Children of Earth DVD and some little odds and ends. Plus some cash to order myself something from one of my many catalogs. ;) Normal birthday procedure is at the very least dinner and a movie or vise versa. For my movie, I picked Law-Abiding Citizen, with Gerard Butler. This breaks a 6 year tradition of seeing the new Saw movie on my birthday. This was the only time I felt half-way good all day. My brother bought me a big pretzel and a giant soda. It was so nice to be able to sit in the theater and watch a movie, we don't get to go very often anymore. I loved the movie, it had a good story and the ending was not something I saw coming a mile away. ;) After that it was time for dinner, I always pick the OutBack on my birthday. But this year, I just couldn't deal with a restaurant. And I have been craving Chinese food for a couple of weeks. So we had takeout, much to the disappointment of my brother who wanted 'real' food. Meaning he wanted to eat in a restaurant even if it was the pizza buffet. After that, I had to take baby brother to a couple of stores he wanted to get something. While he was in one of them he got me a DVD 'My Bloody Valentine 3-D'. ;) When I got home, I was exhausted but my dinner tasted wonderful and it was just what I wanted. Instead of cake, I got brownies with chocolate icing. That's what I asked for and a neighbor baked for us, because our oven doesn't work right.........still. I had a nice quiet breakdown about 2 am, and the weight on my chest eased up a little. That's how the mood swings work with me, I can only hold them off for so long. So that was my birthday, exciting huh?LOL

On to the puppy paws. Yesterday morning I was awakened by Mom saying that Bit had duct tape stuck to her foot. Don't ask, I have no idea. LOL So I get up, Bit is on Mom's lap looking scared the big dogs are at Mom's feet looking at Bit and wondering what's wrong. The tape was stuck in between the pads on her foot. I had to use tiny little scissors to cut it out and had to get real close to the skin. She was not a happy girl. I worked slowly so I didn't hurt her, the bottom of her foot was red where she'd been picking at it. So I got it off and Bit took off like a tornado for 'maniac puppy' time. ;) All was well, until an hour or so later when we where playing. She likes to jump onto and off of the ottomans when chasing her toys or bringing them back. She was going to get the toy and misjudged the distance and slipped off of one and hit her foot on something next to the ottoman. She yelled and turned around holding her little foot up. She wouldn't try to walk to me so I picked her up and checked her toe nails, thinking maybe she caught one on something. I felt her teeny little bones and nothing felt different. So I hugged her a minute and then put her down so I could see her walk. She was fine, I think she just jammed a toe or landed wrong. Thankfully, she is running around like normal. You know like a maniac. ;)

Miss Scarlett has a new fave toy this week, it's a paper towel tube. LOL I put in her cage the other with some paper towels stuffed in the end. She didn't touch it for a couple of days. But now she's throwing it around and yelling at it all the time. LOL

Last week, my brother went to St. Louis to visit his girlfriend. He was gone 4 days and Mom and just rested most of the time he was gone. I didn't have to out except for once or twice. The dogs didn't know what to do, it's been so long since anyone took a trip. Dad used to leave for days at a time to go fishing and a few times for work. But that's been years ago, and Bit didn't know him anyway. It's strange how all the dogs knew something was up as soon as the duffel bag came out. ;) The night I was picking him up I had to put Bit in her crate. We still can't leave her loose, but that's another story. I couldn't catch her she knew I was going out and she knows she gets locked up. I told her,'I have to go get Joe,' and she went right her room (crate). ;)

One last thing, last evening one of my many cousins had a baby. Her first, a girl weighing in at just over 8lbs and 20 inches long. The newest member of the family is named Lola Giselle. So welcome to the world Lola!

More on Lil Bit

All this time Bit has been locked in my room at night sleeping with me. That didn't bother me but having to chase her to get her in there did. She's been really good lately though, we leave her alone in the living room in the afternoons for a couple of hours. And she hasn't been getting into anything. So the other night she got to sleep in the living room with the big dogs. She was very good, and didn't get into anything until Mom got up. LOL She's a big girl now and can sleep with the other dogs all the time. But she's still not big enough to be trusted in the basement. There's just too much stuff to chew on and too many places to hide. ;-0

Now I have told you all about Louie and his howling and the way he talks in the howly, growly way. The other day I was getting ready to go out and run some errands as I came through the living room, Lil Bit pointed her little black nose at the ceiling and howled at me. LOL It was so cute, of course she has a much higher voice than Louie, he's a bass. ;-0 She's starting to talk like he does too, when she wants something. She sees him get a response when he does it so now she's going to get in on his deal.

Lil Bit's Bath & stuff

So Lil Bit had her first bath since she got here. I know it was long time, but it's been easy to clean her up. Just brush the dirt out of her hair. Only today she came in with mud from just under eyes, down her chest and legs to her tiny little feet. My poofy little dog is a tomboy. LOL So Joe said if I'd brush her, he's wash her. He missed a couple of spots but I got them with the damp towel. Joe said she did pretty well in the tub. He said she didn't like it but she didn't fight him or try to get out until he went to reach for the towel. So he hands Bit to me all wrapped in a towel, just her little wet head sticking out. She did not look happy. I took in the bedroom where I can close the door if she gets away from me. I was rubbing her dry and she liked that part. Then I had to clip her nails, that part she didn't like so much. ;-0 But I got it done anyway. I put some doggie conditioner on her to help with any mats and she had a couple. It took an hour to get her totally dry. I don't have a blow dryer, because I never bother using one on my hair. I wish you could see her, she's all fluffy and fresh looking. I noticed while brushing her that her fur almost sparkles. It's really shiney on the ends. Right now she looks like a little fox, all curled up with her head under her tail asleep in Joe's chair.

I've noticed something in the last couple of months about Lil Bit. When she's standing still her back feet turn out away from her body. It doesn't seem to slow her down at all. LOL I'll just have to watch her knees and hips when she's older.

Miss Scarlett did not like it at all when I had Bit in the bedroom grooming her. I don't know what her problem was, she's seen me do it before. I guess she was just having a bad day, I put her to bed early. She was driving me nuts with the screeching. I had Joe put her in her carrier and set her in his room while I messing with Lil Bit. He turns on the radio and she can see his fish tank. It's all bright and the fish are moving so she likes it. She didn't make a sound from in there. But I couldn't leave her there all night. LOL

On a totally different topic. I have a lot of family stories well just stories in general. And quite a few people lately have been telling me I should put them in a book. So the other night, I started putting them down on paper. As soon as I started that it got harder to remember them. LOL But some of them have just flowed onto the paper. I sent a couple of people a sample, I'll let you know what they think when I hear back.

The Latest!

Every time I come home I get a rundown on what Lil Bit has destroyed while I was gone. And there's something new everyday. I got up this morning to my brother telling Bits off for eating his sock, after he left his door open when came out of his room for just a minute. Of all the things she's gotten to yesterday was the winner. When I got home from taking Joe to work, Mom showed me a thin strip of wallpaper that Lil Bit had pulled of the wall. Now it's not funny but it is at least to me. LOL Now that piece had to be loose because it came off perfectly it didn't tear or anything so we can put it back up.

This dog is so sweet, but she's a little maniac too. ;-0

She's learned to sit and wait her turn for treats, she's learning not to run out the front door when I leave. Otherwise she has to be locked in her crate, because after I'm gone if Mom goes out to smoke Bits tries to run out and find me. She hates being locked in her crate, she has a tantrum you can hear outside with all the windows shut. ;-0 But she likes to go in her crate and sleep sometimes. She likes Sunshines crate best though and we find her sleeping in there a lot.

Miss Scarlett comes to the bottom of her cage at least once a day and chats with Lil Bit. Bit barks and makes howly growly sounds and Scarlett talks to her. It's so cute. ;-0

More puppy udates and other stuff

Little Bit is doing very well with the housebreaking. She's only had a couple of accidents in the last week. She loves to go out the doggie door with the big dogs. ;-0 She thinks she's hot cuz she can do that. She's a handful though, and more stubborn than any dog I've ever had. LOL As my uncle said maybe that just comes with being smart. My main problem with her is that she gets on the table I have set up as part of my desk. I eat here sometimes and she climbs on the chair on the side and gets on the table if I'm not here to watch her. So we're working on that. ;-0

Louie sometimes likes her and sometimes doesn't. ;-0 When I have to go out I put her in her crate and she gets ticked off. She barks and lets me know she's not happy. When I get home Louie runs to her crate and shows me where she is so I can let her out. As if I forgot where I put her. LOL

Louie was upset today, not by Little Bit, for a change. I took Mom to the doc and dropped her off, she had cataract surgery on her eye. When I came home with out her he kept looking at me and looking at the door. Then he laid by the front door till I left to go pick her up. I told him I was going to bring her home but he didn't believe me. Mom's surgery went well, she sees her regular eye doc in the morning for a follow up. Then in two weeks she's having the other eye done. When it's all done she'll be able to see better than me. LOL

Miss Scarlett is enjoying Little Bit. When Bits is in her crate making a racket Miss Scarlett will talk to her to try and make Bits feel better. ;-0 It's just so cute.

I've got to get Bits started on basic training she has absolutely no manners at all. She's just couth as hell. LOL She likes to stand on her hind legs so I'm going to try and teach her to dance once she learns manners.

Old Dogs, Young Pups & Broken Gates..........OH MY!

Yesterday, we finally got the back fence fixed so Little Bit can't wiggle out. But when my brother came through the gate to do that, he latch broke. So I had to go through the house and bring him a screw driver. Now he's holding the gate because Sunshine is on the other side pushing trying to get out. I'm moving as fast as I can on very uneven ground (that's not fast trust me). I get there and he can't fix it, the kid is just not very mechanical. ;-0 So I go to give it a shot when who should appear under my feet but, Bits. I have no idea how she got there, Joe grabs her so I can do the gate. I get it fixed so it's locked again. Then he notices a place where Bits can still get out under the gate. I take her he fixes the hole and all is well. LOL

Louie has been trying to play with Bitsy, but he gets very loud. ;-0 He really does like her, just most of the time he doesn't want to be bothered with her. You know like most older siblings when new baby comes home. LOL

Bitsy is doing okay on the housebreaking. She loves to follow the big dogs out the doggie door. If I tell her to go outside she runs right over and out the door. Sometimes I have to make sure she actually goes down into the yard though, or she'll just stand there and then come right back in. LOL

She chews on everything in sight, because of course she's a baby. She loves my shoes, and has ruined the laces on them. I need new shoes anyway but still. ;-0 The other night I was trying to eat dinner and she went into overdrive. She was making me crazy. Mom asked me if I was still glad I got a puppy. I said yes, it's just been a long time since I had to deal with all this.

Bitsy got her stitches out today. She met some nice people at the vets office, and had a nice sniff around outside. But she got sick in the car, she gets so nervous riding that she makes herself sick. I'm hoping she'll grow out of that like Louie did. Until then I'm just going to keep being prepared by bringing a towel to cover the seats.

Bits is very smart. She escaped from the baby gate I have on my bedroom door the first time I left her alone with Mom. She understands the word 'No!', very well. LOL She will walk on her leash as long as I'm on the other end. She's very attached to me. She loves everyone but she needs to know where I am at all times. She lays on my slippers and gets them all hairy. ;-0

Sunshine loves to run around the yard with Bitsy and has shown her the patrol route. Sunshine patrols the yard several times a day to make sure the perimeter is secure. LOL

Little Bit Settles In

Well, it's been exactly one week since I brought Little Bit home. She acts like she's been here forever. LOL Sunshine has calmed down, but she likes to play with Bits. Or at least try Sunshine isn't sure exactly how to play with her. Louie is doing better, but he's still not very happy with the new addition. It might be partly because he's just not feeling well this last week. The cold has hit us and if his legs feel as bad as mine he's in pain. We give him a couple of pills a day and that helps his pain but it makes him sleepy. She wants to play with him, but he just doesn't feel like it. The other day he was blocking her from getting through to the other side of the room. He was growling when she tried, she just hopped over him, he doesn't scare her at all. ;-0 I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

This afternoon when I had my quiet time, I tried to leave her on the floor in my room. But she was barking like a maniac. So I put her in her crate, she actually settled right down and went to sleep for a while. That's a first, I kind of wish she'd sleep in there tonight. But I'm not holding my breath. ;-0

Bits is doing okay with the housebreaking, as long as I go out with her every few hours. She won't go alone, I have to go out too. But that's good, I have to make sure she doesn't get out of the yard. We haven't had time to fix the fence yet, that's on for this weekend. She loves to run around with Sunshine. But any little sound will send her racing for the door. ;-0 The second day she was here, she brought me a dead bird. I saw something in her mouth but couldn't catch her before she got in the doggie door. She dropped it in front of my chair. Bits was very proud and I was very grossed out. LOL

So we're doing well, Miss Scarlett has perked up quite a bit since Little Bit came home. I don't know if it's the dog or the fact that I feel better so she's feeling better too. Scarlett is trying out some new words on me. I haven't quite been able to catch any yet, just enough to know that the sound is a word.

She finally has a name!

After trying to make several names fit, she's stuck with Little Bit or Bitsy. I called her that earlier today and when my brother came out to talk to her he called her that too. So I figured if we both came up with it, seperately then it must be right. Thank goodness her name isn't Foxy Bob. LOL

She has declared the tiny space between my chair and the boxes under my desk as hers. She has warned both of the big dogs off. Sunshine is still getting way too excited when Bitsy is moving about. But Louie is just not happy. For one thing Louie is jealous, I knew that going in to this. For another he just doesn't know what to do with Bitsy. ;-0

Now Miss Scarlett is very interested in the ball of fluff sharing our space. She's come down to the bottom of her cage to be eye to eye with Bitsy. Bitsy barked and Miss Scarlett stared, then climbed back up to her perch. LOL

We are getting ready to go have some quiet time, we've been out here in the hustle & bustle for quite a while. Plus I only slept for a couple of hours this morning and that was after Bitsy was out of her crate and in bed with me. ;-0

When I first met her she was much fluffier. They had to shave her to spay her so that's why she's not quite as fluffy as she should be. I found a doggie sweater I got for Dad's old Killer dog. It fits Bitsy, she's not sure she likes it but it's cold & windy out there today. So maybe she'll learn to like it or at least tolerate it when she has to go.

I'm Soooooo Excited!!!!!

I finally found my fluffy, little puppy today!!!!! I just happened to check the shelter web site right before I took my brother, Joe to work. And there she was a little red, pale red, pom. I called them and they told me she was going to a rescue. I told them I wanted to see her and would more than likely adopt her. I've wanted a pom for years and years.

So I went out there and they have a new state of the art facility. For so many years they just had one small building and a couple of sheds for storage.

So I go into the little room and they bring her in. She's 6 months old, and comes from a hoarder's house. That worried me a bit because dogs in those situtations don't get socialized much. But she's very curious, she checked out my leg brace, it didn't scare her she just wanted to see what it was. She's very kissy and sweet. She didn't know what to do with the toys in the room because she's never had any. I filled out the paper work and she's mine. I'll pick her up from the vet, tomorrow or Sat. after she's spayed. She doesn't have a name, so I'll have to figure out what it should be. I'll post pictures when I get some. I only have a small one on my cell phone right now. I asked her to sit for it and she did. ;-0

I don't have the words to tell you how excited I am right now. I haven't felt this good in years. I want to jump up & down, dance, yell it from a mountain top! LOL

I know I'll have to change my schedule so she can be trained. That's a good thing. Last time I was going through a time like this I had a dog named Duke. I had to get up at a decent time to care for him. I had to be active for him. So now maybe this will help get me moving along the right track again. I know it sounds like I'm putting a lot on her tiny little shoulders. But whether or not I'm movtivated she'll have a wonderful life her with us.

She's not housebroken but that shouldn't take long with Sunshine & Louie to help her. I want to take her to obedience school and socialize her. There's just so much to do. It's like bringing home a baby. LOL I went out to the pet store and got puppy food, a new bowl a couple of tiny little toys. :-) I was going to get a collar & leash but I realized I don't know what size collar to get. I know it has to be small but I need to know the exact size. So I'll do that after I pick her up. I'm thinking of getting her a tiny bell to put on her so I can hear her coming. ;-0 I did get Sunshine & Louie some special treats that they don't always get. I didn't want them to feel left out. Plus I let them smell me when I got home from holding her so they would at least maybe connect her scent to me. I'm not really worried about them not liking her. Louie loved Sunshine the minute we brought her in the house. Plus they used to have a little dog so they already know how to treat one.

Joe will have to dig Killer's crate out of the garage for me. I'm going to put it in my room. But I want her to learn to sleep on the bed with me eventually. Once she's all potty trained. ;-0 I have it all figured out how to make room for her and everything. I've been thinking about this a long long time.

So WOOOOHOOOOO!! LOL

Doctors, Pharmacies & Insurance Companies, Oh My!

Recently I had to find a new doctor. This is the 3rd doctor, I've had in 4 years.

The first one I'd had for quite a while but he moved to another practice that didn't take my insurance. Now I liked him, he was a nice age, meaning he was at least as old as me and didn't look 17. LOL We had an understanding he didn't yell about my weight and I would try to lose some of it.

But I had to settle for a new doctor at the practice. She looked all of 21, was a foot shorter than me and probably a size 2. This did not make for a good doctor patient relationship. ;-0 She was good though, even if she spent most of her time trying to find even more things wrong with me. As far as she was concerned, someone my size should have heart, lung & kidney trouble. Not to mention my liver, thyroid and pancreas. She tested them all constantly and couldn't find a thing wrong with them. She did help me get my diabetes under control, with lots of meds. but that's better than having to take those shots. ;-0 So when I heard she had left the practice, which had relocated 3 times in the year and 1/2 she was my doctor. I was kind of aggravated. The clinic of course wanted me to pick another of their doctors. But I'd been to the latest location and it was over a 2 block walk from the parking lot to the clinic. That doesn't sound like much I know but for someone like me who can't walk well, that's like saying it's more than a mile away. I decided to look for a new clinic.

My search was postponed for several months, due to family drama, and such. Plus I really didn't want to have to start over with a new doctor.

Finally, after letting everything go, running out of meds. and having raging blood sugar. I found a new clinic and picked a doctor. I picked her alphabetically, her name starts with A, I'm very scientific in such matters. LOL

I saw her the first time last month, and have been through so many tests since I feel like a pin coushin. She didn't put me back on all my meds. at once, she said it would be too much for my system. Little does she know my last doctor put me on most of them at the same time so my system can take it. ;-0 I saw her again Monday, my blood sugar is much better. I've gotten rid of some health problems, that I had no idea raging blood sugar could cause. She decided to put me on the rest of my meds. but she wanted to change one of them. She said the one I was on quit working over time and the newer one didn't so would I be willing to try that? Sure, if it works better as long as I don't have a reaction to it I'll take it. She sent the info the prescriptions right to my pharmacy. She's got this cool computer program that does that and even tells if my insurance company will cover the meds. It said it would so all was great.

Until I go to my pharmacy later that day to pick up everything. I'm told that the new one needs approval. I said from who? The insurance company of course, cool the info has been sent to them I'll pick it up another time. So I go today to pick it up, actually I sent my brother in to grab it for me. He's not in the store 4 minutes when my cell phone rings. They don't have what I told him they should and they're trying to give him the old med. Things like this always happen when I ask him to run in for me. I tell him I don't want the old stuff, I'm supposed to take the new one. They tell him the insurance company won't approve it unless my doctor says I need it. Okay my doctor prescribed it, so isn't that saying I need it? Not according to the insurance company. After a long argument with the 'snotty' girl at the pharmacy he comes out. Oh is he ticked off, because I can't get the med the doctor ordered. The kid worries about me. If you hear of a man going nuts and destroying a pharmacy, pray for us that will be my brother. LOL

So I come home and call my doctor's nurse to leave a message about the mess at the pharmacy. Hopefully, it will all get straightened out, but I'm not holding my breath. If I can't get the new one, I'm not taking the old one. I'm just stubborn that way. LOL

PS. The dog next door had puppies. I can't wait till they are big enough to come outside so I can see them. I wish I could have one but they will be neither small, nor fluffy. LOL Momma is a mixed breed that looks like she has Brittany/and several other things all together. And I bet the daddy is the other dog in the house, he's big & mean looking. He's grey like a Weimeraner (however you spell that) but his head doesn't look right for him to be a purebred one.

A Retarded Fraggle

In the past few years, I've lost some of my control over things I say. I mean occassionally I think something and it comes right out of my mouth. An example of this happened at the store. I was talking to myself quite a bit, the only way to make sure I got out of there with everything on the list. I noticed some Amish people walk past me, in my head I thought, 'Oh, Amish people.' Apparently I said it out loud too because one of the women turned and smiled at me.

So I don't have the inner censors that I used to have. I guess I was being a bit silly yesterday, while shopping. My brother gave me the 'look', and called me a retarded Fraggle. He should actually be grateful, most of the time shopping makes me cranky & mean. I was just singing I don't know why it was bothering him so much. Well, okay so I don't sing like an angel, but still.

I keep telling him at least I have more control than most people with my condition. And he should be glad they don't find me running naked through the local park.

Note: I hope no Fraggles are offended by this.

My Hair

As you can see, I posted a new pic of myself. I finally had one taken that I like. The only problem is that most of that hair is gone.

I was having a bad day, you know you need a change but you really can't do anything about what you need to change. Does that make any sense at all?

So in the middle of a mood swing I decide that the only thing I can really change at that moment is my hair. Plus I realized that I hadn't had a real hair cut in five years. So I trimmed up the front, put the rest in a ponytail. I then handed the scissors to my brother and asked him to lop off my ponytail. Which he did, and he made sure it was all even and everything.

I now have collar length hair and it's driving me crazy. I mean it looks good and I've gotten lots of compliments on it, but it just feels wrong. LOL

I will post a pic when I can, the ones we took didn't come out very good. The lighting was all wrong.

Oh yeah the moral of this little story is "Don't let crazy people play with scissors!" LOL

Quiet?

It's just after 6 am, I don't sleep much these days. Have you ever noticed it's never really truly quiet? I mean there's a sense of quiet after everyone's in bed, but even then it's not really quiet. If I lean back and close my eyes this is what I hear:

the birds singing in our trees.
my dogs snoring
the occassional movement of Miss Scarlett in her cage
the radio in my brother's room
my chair creak when I move
my computer tower humming
the voices in my head, worrying about things that don't truly matter
my heart beat
the sump pump shutting off
the heater coming on
rain softly hitting the sky light
the house making it's usual creaks & groans


This is the kind of thing that plagues my mind at 6 am. LOL